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The current year represents a ten-year milestone since the term “disappearing” entered the common lexicon. Initially, the notion that someone could abruptly cease contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the peak of indignity. Our innocence was charming. In the decade since, navigating toward a partner has only become more bewildering – an frequently unsuccessful pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by online slang.

Gen Z, a demographic who matured during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a widespread attack on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex environment than their Gen Y elders could ever imagine. And so their romantic glossary has grown longer and more unhinged, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” testing the limits of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a comprehensive breakdown to the words gen Z is using to discuss love, intimacy and the quest of both. To channel one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the end of this guide you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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A

Realness – In the view of Zoomers, dating’s ideal is showing up as your real, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A TikTok trend connected to a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s response is interested or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while radiating mystery and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

C

Seat theory – This signifies choosing someone who helps you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would get a seat for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A date where two people form a link while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do budget-friendly dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a crush or split, venting all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a symbol of 80s yuppie affluence, it describes pairs who forgo parenthood to focus on their own well-being. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of playing it cool: utilizing communication, honesty and openness.

F

Flags

• Danger signals – Personal habits suggesting a potential partner is bad news. Such as calling their exes crazy, bad tipping habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits confirm your decision to pursue a mate. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, having a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe niche, largely inoffensive quirks. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their wallet, paying the rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (few things builds closeness faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group many young men likes.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of ghosting.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt marathon sessions, intentionally postponing climax so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A trend describing many women's increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

High-value woman – An ideal championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who apparently has no goals of her own other than pleasing her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Random and usually everyday turnoffs that immediately shut down any sense of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an extremely romantic display.

J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in fields they perceive as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers desire fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {